Lawyers, Guns and Money: The Great Dust-Up

I was told to expect one great dust-up in my life. I had imagined a hospitalizing brawl, or too much cocaine in a weak heart. Maybe an unwanted pregnancy. Something like that.
But Mighty George cooked up something more original, more delicious.
It happened shortly after my 28th birthday. And once the dust settled, my career, money, house, friends and girlfriend vanished. They were replaced with lawyers and cops, fright and paranoia. Looking back on it, I wish somehow guns could have been involved.
As the intermittent days eerily crawled along, as I sold my possessions, drank remorsefully and said my goodbyes to the place I called home, I figured America didn't want me anymore.